Sunday, December 31, 2006

Jaybird: Always a bridesmaid...





Once again, a Project Runway designer is forced to walk the cold streets of New York, whorin' for models.

What's up with that? Twice in one season, the model just doesn't show up. For all the on-camera drama, was Jay really in any danger of being auf'd because his model didn't show up? How is that fair?


Then again, look at the exotic creature he managed to find. Ladies and Gentlemen, the new face of LancĂ´me.

All joking aside, this was another gorgeous outfit that probably suffered from being a little too close to Kara Saun's concept. And as great a job as Jay did here, Kara Saun's was just better.


Sashay shanté, girl!

Love the giant sports logo-esque version of the USPS logo. Hate the stormtrooper boots.


We would have loved to have seen the pants outside the boots because they look beautifully tailored. Lorenzo thought the fabric was way too disco, though.


He also did a fantastic job on that vest. Although, on a second (third, fourth, fifth, sixth) look, we're not all that crazy about the color of the turtleneck.

No doubt, it's a great-looking outfit and aside from the shitkicker boots, we're not sure what the Duchess saw that was "butch" about it (then again, consider the source - not exactly an expert on "butch"). Somehow, it had less of a uniform vibe than Kara Saun's and looked more like an outfit someone put together for a day out.

These are all minor quibbles, though. In any other circumstances, this would be a clear winner. It just so happened that Kara Saun came up with roughly the same design and managed to hit one out of the park.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Friday, December 29, 2006

Mustache, He Wrote

Ladies and Gentlemen, Project Runway presents a whodunnit.


Our suspects. You'll not find a shadier group of characters.

The Mentor: Kind, stern, wise, hot. But is he hiding something?
The Gay Clown: Sarcastic, biting, talented. Are his sharp words masking something?
The Dumb Stud: Dumb. Thinks he's a stud.
The Skinny Princess: Ethereal, other-worldly, strange. What hidden rage lurks beneath his sunken chest?
Little Miss Perfect: Always right, always on top. What drives this seething engine of ambition?
The Crazy One: Crazy.


Ohmigod, how awesome was this episode? We hadn't seen it in a while and forgot about the high levels of entertainment value and bitchery.


And how fabulously surreal that all this drama, backtalking and sobbing occurred while all the participants were wearing ugly postal uniforms. It's like a really bad premise for a soap opera. The Mail Carriers of Orange County.


"And it's my daughter! *sob! And she has two hands! *choke!* Like these! See? *snff!*"

You know, we'd like to believe that this little display was genuine because the alternative - that she merely used the incident as a way to further fuck with the remaining designers - is frankly, pretty damning.

We're not accusing her of anything. Someone did paint that mustache on her daughter's picture and it wasn't her. We just have a creeping suspicion that she wasn't nearly as emotionally distraught over it as she appeared.

Some readers think we're being harder on Wendy than she deserves but it's not as if we're going off into wild suppositions or armchair psychoanalysis. We're only going by what she's said herself and she's been quite clear that she has absolutely no qualms about exploiting her status as a mother, getting other designers "out of her way," and openly plotting and scheming to bring other designers down. She's been very open about her use of emotional manipulation as a tactic to win a design competition.


Oh puh-leeze, honey. You were all talking behind her back about what a crazy bitch she is every chance you got.

By the way, The Project Runway Lounge? Fugly. It looks like the lobby to a Ramada Inn.


Not that she didn't deserve to be called a crazy bitch. Wendy, as far as we're concerned, has more than earned her reputation. She did not, however, deserve to have her daughter's picture defaced. No matter how you look at it, that's a shitty thing to do.

So who did it? Obviously, we're not in a position to say definitively. Watching the episode, it seemed to us that everyone was genuinely surprised to hear about it and genuinely felt as bad for Wendy as they could, all things considered. We don't think any of the remaining designers did it. It just doesn't feel right.

We think Kevin did it. He was alone in the work room when he packed his things and he, more than anyone, had cause to be angry with her.

Also, we feel the need to point out that we've both read the entire oeuvre of Agatha Christie, which makes us experts on this sort of thing. That Jessica Fletcher bitch has nothing on us.

Discuss.

Fab Mommy and The Baby of the Century

Fabulous Mommy and her entire brood - including latest addition, Finn - were featured in the latest issue of People mag. Who has the pics? Why, we do of course!


Frank is such a camera whore.


We promise kittens, we will get our own pics of the fabulous Finn. Laura keeps inviting us up and we keep having to beg off due to work, family or holiday commitments, but soon. Soon, there will be fairy godfather pics. As god is our witness.

Isn't he adorable?

How gorgeous is she? And wook at da widdle cutiecute!

Read the whole article in the issue on sale today:

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Do Svidanya, Robbio!





We're feeling uncharacteristically kind-hearted.


To be honest, conceptually, this was actually a very good idea. It's the execution that was piss-poor.


We thought that the basic idea behind it was sound. It still looked like a uniform but with slightly more style and with comfort and ease of movement as the main attributes.



That's all well and good, but unfortunately, the end product was ugly. The fabric looked cheap and the colors were drab and a little depressing. It was also unusually poorly made. Not that Robert ever demonstrated master tailoring skills, but he was usually able to pull something together that looked, you know...done.


That top is an utter disaster. You just know Olga's all "I left Russia for this?"

Here's the thing: we think the judges ignored their own criteria in this instance. Time and time again, in all 3 seasons of the show, when the decision came down to aufing a designer who took some risks and failed and aufing a designer who took no risks, the judges always keep the designer who took the risks. Not so in this case. They'd never admit it, but we suspect the judges had come to the same question that the remaining designers had all been asking: "What is Rob still doing here?" Whatever he designed, unless it turned out to be some sort of masterpiece (which was about as likely as Wendy deciding not to be a sociopath), the judges had it in for him and he was going to go this week.

Don't get us wrong, we're not defending the outfit. It was definitely bad. And yes, it really was time for him to go, but it felt like the judges didn't have a good enough reason to do so and just sort of glossed over that part of the discussion.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Martha, you stinking bitch.

Morning, Poodles! We hope your Christmas was a gay old time. Us? We had a fabulous time even if the Bitch Who Stole Christmas almost ruined it for us.

See this?

This is what we thought we were serving for dessert. Now, we've made Baked Alaska before, but for some reason, in a fit of yuletide madness, we thought we'd give Martha's recipe a try. Foolish gays. Martha of course had to make this about a thousand times more complicated than it needed to be. We spent a couple days assembling the thing in our freezer and since meringue doesn't freeze well, we left the final step to be done just before the guests arrived.

Yes, we realize that was stupid. Like we said, yuletide madness.

So, 15 minutes before their arrival, Tom finds himself furiously trying to make Martha's neurosurgery-level of meringue come together when what happens? Why, our garbage disposal backs up and the dishwasher starts spewing dirty water all over our kitchen floor! This lead to Tom uttering what may be the gayest thing he ever said:

Lorenzo (on his hands and knees dirtying every clean towel in the house): Tom, I need some help here!

Tom: You can't just leave a meringue once you start it!

If we had recited the entire exchange in SugarPlum Fairy costumes it couldn't have been any gayer.

Anyway, the frikking thing just wouldn't come together and looked like melted marshmallows instead of fluffy meringue. Plus, Tom's trying to whip it in shape while simultaneously trying to avoid the growing puddle of water threatening his shoes when his hand slipped and the beaters spewed half-assed meringue all over the kitchen wall. Meringue, we may add, that could have been used for mortar in the Great Pyramid. The stuff still isn't completely gone.

So, once again, Martha ruined someone's Christmas with her overcomplicated bullshit and we should have just stuck with the classic egg whites, confectioners sugar and cream of tartar version of meringue we've always made instead of bitchface's delicate little heat-the-egg-whites
to-an-exact-temperature version.

Luckily, our guests all brought desserts with them but next year we're sticking to whatever Paula Deen tells us to do. How hard is it to melt a stick of butter and add it to everything on the menu before deepfrying it?

Martha, you stinking bitch.

Morning, Poodles! We hope your Christmas was a gay old time. Us? We had a fabulous time even if the Bitch Who Stole Christmas almost ruined it for us.

See this?

This is what we thought we were serving for dessert. Now, we've made Baked Alaska before, but for some reason, in a fit of yuletide madness, we thought we'd give Martha's recipe a try. Foolish gays. Martha of course had to make this about a thousand times more complicated than it needed to be. We spent a couple days assembling the thing in our freezer and since meringue doesn't freeze well, we left the final step to be done just before the guests arrived.

Yes, we realize that was stupid. Like we said, yuletide madness.

So, 15 minutes before their arrival, Tom finds himself furiously trying to make Martha's neurosurgery-level of meringue come together when what happens? Why, our garbage disposal backs up and the dishwasher starts spewing dirty water all over our kitchen floor! This lead to Tom uttering what may be the gayest thing he ever said:

Lorenzo (on his hands and knees dirtying every clean towel in the house): Tom, I need some help here!

Tom: You can't just leave a meringue once you start it!

If we had recited the entire exchange in SugarPlum Fairy costumes it couldn't have been any gayer.

Anyway, the frikking thing just wouldn't come together and looked like melted marshmallows instead of fluffy meringue. Plus, Tom's trying to whip it in shape while simultaneously trying to avoid the growing puddle of water threatening his shoes when his hand slipped and the beaters spewed half-assed meringue all over the kitchen wall. Meringue, we may add, that could have been used for mortar in the Great Pyramid. The stuff still isn't completely gone.

So, once again, Martha ruined someone's Christmas with her overcomplicated bullshit and we should have just stuck with the classic egg whites, confectioners sugar and cream of tartar version of meringue we've always made instead of bitchface's delicate little heat-the-egg-whites
to-an-exact-temperature version.

Luckily, our guests all brought desserts with them but next year we're sticking to whatever Paula Deen tells us to do. How hard is it to melt a stick of butter and add it to everything on the menu before deepfrying it?

Martha, you stinking bitch.

Morning, Poodles! We hope your Christmas was a gay old time. Us? We had a fabulous time even if the Bitch Who Stole Christmas almost ruined it for us.

See this?

This is what we thought we were serving for dessert. Now, we've made Baked Alaska before, but for some reason, in a fit of yuletide madness, we thought we'd give Martha's recipe a try. Foolish gays. Martha of course had to make this about a thousand times more complicated than it needed to be. We spent a couple days assembling the thing in our freezer and since meringue doesn't freeze well, we left the final step to be done just before the guests arrived.

Yes, we realize that was stupid. Like we said, yuletide madness.

So, 15 minutes before their arrival, Tom finds himself furiously trying to make Martha's neurosurgery-level of meringue come together when what happens? Why, our garbage disposal backs up and the dishwasher starts spewing dirty water all over our kitchen floor! This lead to Tom uttering what may be the gayest thing he ever said:

Lorenzo (on his hands and knees dirtying every clean towel in the house): Tom, I need some help here!

Tom: You can't just leave a meringue once you start it!

If we had recited the entire exchange in SugarPlum Fairy costumes it couldn't have been any gayer.

Anyway, the frikking thing just wouldn't come together and looked like melted marshmallows instead of fluffy meringue. Plus, Tom's trying to whip it in shape while simultaneously trying to avoid the growing puddle of water threatening his shoes when his hand slipped and the beaters spewed half-assed meringue all over the kitchen wall. Meringue, we may add, that could have been used for mortar in the Great Pyramid. The stuff still isn't completely gone.

So, once again, Martha ruined someone's Christmas with her overcomplicated bullshit and we should have just stuck with the classic egg whites, confectioners sugar and cream of tartar version of meringue we've always made instead of bitchface's delicate little heat-the-egg-whites
to-an-exact-temperature version.

Luckily, our guests all brought desserts with them but next year we're sticking to whatever Paula Deen tells us to do. How hard is it to melt a stick of butter and add it to everything on the menu before deepfrying it?

S1/E8: Congratulations Kara Saun (again)!

Quickie recap: The designers are forced to spend the day working for the post office so they can gather ideas about how best to redesign the postal uniform. As per usual, drama and hilarity ensue. You can read Tim's Take on this episode here.


God, this was gorgeous. The judging was unusually good this week and we have to reiterate what Duchess Kors said: somehow, she managed to make a postal uniform look sexy while still looking like a postal uniform.


While we think this outfit would look good on a variety of body types, we question how many male postal carriers would like to wear those pants, fabulous though they may be.


Aside from that very minor quibble, this outfit was perfection. The colors are gorgeous and that alone could have given her the win, since one doesn't normally associate rich beautiful tones with the US Postal Service uniform.

That vest? We covet. Not enough to apply to be a postal carrier, mind you, but we covet it nonetheless.


And the hat? Shut UP! Where can we get one? That sweater is gorgeous too. Perfectly fitted, like everything Kara Saun does.

Honestly, it's almost difficult to write about this because we gush and gush and then we realize we're going apeshit over a mail carrier's uniform. But seriously, how can we not? This was masterful. It still looks recognizably like what it's supposed to be but unlike, say...every work uniform ever designed in the history of the world, this is actually stylish, hot, and flattering to a bunch of different ages and body types.

Kara Saun, you make being a fashion bitch very difficult because you're so annoyingly even-keeled and consistent, but damn girl, you totally deserved this win.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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Thursday, December 21, 2006

So much for our vacation.


Entertainment Weekly has named Project Runway one of its Top Entertainers of 2006. Everyone looks gorgeous in the photos even if we question some of the styling choices.

What you probably didn't know is that a couple days before the photo shoot, Laura called us and said "I need my gay posse there!" Just guess what we said.

Anyway, fate, torrential rain and an overturned tractor trailer on the Jersey Turnpike prevented us from getting to the shoot on time. We did however arrive in time to get one rain-drenched photo.


After that, we went back to Laura's for a while and then on to Malan's party. We do it all for you, darlings.

By the way, Laura made her own dress and if we recall correctly, Uli is wearing Vera Wang.

Edited to add:

Watch the Access Hollywood video about the EW photo shoot here.


Also, don't miss Bravo's exclusive behind-the-scenes video at the EW shoot. It's a great video!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Darlings, we're simply SWAMPED!


Due to the holidays and the amount of shopping, wrapping, baking and all-around donning of gay apparel, we thought it would be best to skip an episode this week and come back fresh next Thursday to blog about episode 8.

Let us just take this time to tell you all just how much we appreciate your support for this little venture of ours. We are still stunned at how things have changed for us in a mere 6 months. Thank you to each and every one of you and have a fantastic holiday, Kittens!

MWAH! Lovey'all!

PS: We have a special Christmas post planned for Project: Gay tomorrow. Watch for it!

Bring it, Bitch!




Okay, here's a shocker: we didn't hate this.


We didn't exactly love it, but it followed the dictates of the collection to the letter and you can tell she made the effort to make the piece look like the rest of the collection (as it was explained to her).


Granted, it doesn't look like she actually did anything but shred existing clothes and the fringe on the skirt brings it dangerously close to a Pocahontas costume, but all in all, it looks like what it was supposed to look like, a deconstructed, futuristic outfit.

Ann Slowey overreacted (as usual) and for some reason, tore into Wendy and passed right over designers who should have had their asses kicked by her.

For once, we would have loved to see Wendy pull out all the stops on her bitchery.


"Quite frankly it looks like my cat chewed up a ball of yarn and spit it out an hour later."


"Yeah? Quite frankly, that top makes you look like a Christmas ornament. An old Christmas ornament."


"Who did your makeup, Wendy? Ronald McDonald?"


"Who did your hair, Ann? Clorox?"


"I'm gazing into my crystal ball, Wendy. I see a lifetime of mediocrity in your future."


"Yeah, well I'm gazing at your forehead and I see hair plugs in yours."


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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The Scarlett Letter: F

Did you ever watch a fish flapping around out of water or a turtle on its back trying to right itself? That was Austin this week.


Poor thing. This challenge was not only not up his alley, it's pretty much antithetical to his entire aesthetic. Austin doesn't "do" deconstruction. Austin doesn't "do" bizarre costume challenges.


Those sleeves are really weird.

What Austin does very well is make beautiful clothing for real-world women. You hand him a challenge that's purely conceptual and he flounders.


Bottom line: this was absolutely ugly. He tried his damnedest, though. That much is evident.


It looks like he stripped the upholstery off an old couch. Frankly, all his fabric choices were pretty ugly.

We're assuming the multiple rough hems were his attempt at deconstruction but putting them on such a tailored piece just makes it look unfinished.


It looks well-tailored for the most part. We'll give him that. Of course that flies in the face of what the whole collection was about, but then again the team leader went even further against the grain than he did. It could just be that Austin was following Kevin's lead.

Naah. That's not entirely fair. The fact of the matter is, he was responsible for his own design and on almost every level the design failed. We've seen too much of Austin's work to claim he's a bad designer. He's an excellent designer. It's just that this is something he never would have attempted in the real word because it's so not him.



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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